


Sandfish

by kopycat_101



Category: Free!, Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen, Haruka's reborn as Gaara, I have no clue how this thing is going to turn out tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 11:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6904942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kopycat_101/pseuds/kopycat_101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haruka Nanase finds himself in an odd situation; he's been reincarnated in a world full of ninja. To the general populace, Sabaku no Gaara has an intense fixation with water, despite having a sand demon sealed within him, and living in Sunagakure. Things just keep getting weirder as time passes.</p><p>A Naruto/Free! crossover, humor fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: So, this idea just suddenly came to me. What the hell would Haru do, if he was born as Gaara? He lives in the middle of a desert, has a sand demon locked in him, and controls sand. Gaara would be one of the worst people for Haru to be reborn into, honestly.
> 
> And thus, this crossover was born.

  


* * *

Chapter 1: A Sandfish Is Born

* * *

Karura gave a long sigh, as Chiyo-obaa-sama finally finished the sealing ceremony.

The petite woman wasn't exactly happy that Rasa decided to seal the One Tailed Demon within one of her children, but…Well, it was for the best for Sunagakure. Her sweet little one will be strong—strong enough to survive the world of shinobi—and help protect the village.

She suddenly felt a jolt in her stomach.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, looking down at her rounded belly with wide eyes, and a bit of awe. "He…He kicked me."

The venerable Lady Chiyo gave a dry cackle. "Yes, that's what babies do, when they're in the mother's womb, Karura-chan."

The younger woman slowly sat up from her previous spread-eagle position on the sandstone slab. One of her hands fluttered to her baby bump. "This has been the first time I've felt him kick…Should I get my brother? Or Rasa?"

Chiyo scoffed. "Ah, let 'em feel your stomach later. This is **your** moment, Karura-chan. Bask in it."

A bemused smile spread across the brunette young woman's features. "Perhaps I will." She cradled her stomach in her hands, smile softening. "I think…I think he will be alright. Perhaps he is even fine with the One Tails, as he reacted right after the sealing ceremony."

Lady Chiyo merely gave a hum. "He'll be an odd one. Strong, but odd."

The expecting mother gave a startled laugh. Chiyo-obaa-sama was always very blunt.

"I'm sure he will," Karura replied warmly.

* * *

Yashamaru furiously wrote down the results on the forms in his hands. "Looks like everything's good, sis," he told Karura. "Bit more activity from the little guy than we expected. But other than that? He seems to be healthy."

"Oh, good," the woman sighed, a hand gently placed on her heart. "I was getting worried."

It's been a month since the sealing. As her baby grows, so does his restlessness. It's quite common for the baby to be kicking inside her womb.

"Still…I wonder what the little guy's doing in there?" her brother mused, a teasing tilt to his smile. "Kickboxing? Swimming? Karate?"

Karura laughed, aiming as swat at his shoulder. "Don't give him any ideas! Stop being such a bad influence to my children, Yasha-chan. You're even starting before he's born!"

"A new record, I know," the young man smirked, ducking from receiving a smack to the head. He gave a laugh. "Hey, no strenuous activity, sis! It's bad for the baby."

"Chiding you and putting you in your place isn't strenuous. I do it often enough," the young woman sniffed, nose in the air, a grin creeping upon her mouth.

"Oh, c'mon! Don't be like that, Karu-nee!" Yashamaru whined, a pout in place.

"If you **behaved** , then maybe I wouldn't have to do so, so often," the elder sibling teased to her younger brother, an impish twinkle in her eyes as she gave him a grin.

* * *

"Why won't he just **behave**?" the expecting mother groaned, one delicate hand over her eyes, as she heavily rested on a couch in the Study.

Somehow, her toddler son managed to climb up on the kitchen counters, and knock over multiple ingredients that laid there. Like an entire bag of flour.

Kankurou was white head-to-toe, covered in the stuff. The servants had to swoop in to scrub the entire kitchen, and put the mischievous boy through a bath.

The baby inside her womb suddenly gave a series of furious kicks, and the woman hunched over, gripping her stomach.

"Both of my boys are such little troublemakers," she sighed. "And one hasn't even been born yet!"

"There there, dear," Rasa said distractedly, giving an idle pat to her head. "They will be better behaved, in time."

Karura pouted at her husband, who was treating her like a nuisance, or a puppy. Right now, he was having a break from work—and even then, he just holed up in his study to read and do paperwork.

"I hope you will discipline them when they are older, husband dearest. I am **not** going to do it all on my own," she huffed, rubbing idle circles on her stomach.

"Mmm. Yes, dear," her husband replied, still staring down at the paperwork in his hands.

"And you should really take more time from the office. You need a hand in raising our children as well, you know," she added, frowning at him.

"Yes, dear." He was still ignoring her.

"Temari-chan and Kankurou-chan will forget who their father is, with how much time you spend in your office," she groused, brow furrowing further.

"Mhmm," he gave an idle hum from his throat. **Still** not paying attention.

Karura gave a frustrated exclamation from the back of her throat. She took a deep, calming breath, and slowly let it out.

"You know, I'm very frustrated right now, dearest husband mine."

"That's nice," he answered vaguely.

"Oh, not particularly, no. I get very, **very** frustrated, as of late. I believe it is the hormones."

"Mhmm."

"And," she goes on, a sly smirk slowly forming on her face. "I get very, **very** lonely, Rasa. Always having to go to sleep in an empty bed…It really puts things in perspective."

"Right." Still reading his paperwork.

"And, well, it's been so **long** since we shared a bed. You know, **properly** ," she purred. She leaned over, threading a hand through his hair, gently scratching his scalp.

Rasa gave an appreciative hum, eyes glazing over. He finally deigned her important enough to look at. **Finally**.

"And I've spent so many nights. Alone. With only myself for company. All hot and bothered, with no one there to help me," she says, eyes staring into his, tilting her head slightly in order to expose the arch of her neck.

Her husband's eyes trailed down her neck. He gulped, Adam's apple bobbing harshly.

"I see," he rasped.

"Temari-chan is with her tutors, and Kankurou-chan is having a bath…" she trailed off, trying to fight off a toothy smirk. "Perhaps we can use your break to…Catch up."

Karura's smirk widened, as she saw her husband's pupils dilate. "Ah."

The man swallowed audibly. "Isn't…Isn't it still unsafe? Because of the baby," he murmured, idly licking his lips, sounding very unsure but **very** interested.

"That doesn't mean we can't use a more… **Hands-on** approach," she purred, tugging his hair, guiding him from his seat over to her.

Rasa's eyes widened, as he stared down at her. "On…On the **couch**?" he choked out.

"You have a **lot** of time to make up for, dear," she answered cheekily.

The next few minutes were rather enjoyable…Except for the fact that her baby decided to start kicking up a storm right when she was on the edge. And hit a kidney.

"Ah!" she exclaimed in pain, clutching at her side. "He just kicked my kidney!"

Rasa froze, like a deer in the face of a hunter, eyes wide. He stopped his ministrations, and Karura gave a noise of pure and utter frustration.

"Should we…Get a medic?" he asked, awkwardly hovering over her.

"No!" she bit out, harshly moving her hips. "I-I'm almost there…! Rasa, **please** —"

And then her baby decided to start swimming a relay in her stomach.

"Son of a—" she bit out, gritting her teeth and clutching at her stomach. She gave an acidic glare down at her unborn child. "Little one, your Kaa-chan will **very** much appreciate it if you calmed down, so that Kaa-chan can have her brains melt out of her ears after **months** of no action."

Rasa stared down at her, looking equal parts bewildered and concerned. "Ah, dear…? I believe it would be best if we get a medic."

Karura dug her nails into his shoulders, glaring at him. "If you stop before I come, Rasa, I swear to the Sage that I will—" another round of rapid kicks. She gave a keen of frustration and rage, doubling over. "—Fuck, fuck, **fine**."

Her husband carefully balanced himself, extracting himself from her grasp. He shifted his uniform with a grimace, barely managing to hide his erection. He took a handkerchief from his robes, wiping his wet hand. "Dear, it's not proper to curse when you're pregnant."

"If my baby didn't interrupt, then I **wouldn't** have cursed," she grumbled with a pout. "We'll do this again later. **Properly**."

The man coughed. "I, ah, would not be against that."

The brunette woman let out a long sigh, almost putting a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose, before remembering what she had previously been doing with that hand. "Help me pull my panties back up. I'll go to see my otouto now."

* * *

The seventh month of her pregnancy loomed, and Karura was feeling rather faint.

"We need to up your prenatal vitamins. And your check-ups," Yashamaru noted worriedly. "There's a chance the little guy will be born premature."

"He sure doesn't act like it," the woman sighed wearily, rubbing a hand tiredly over her face. "He's kicking like a budding taijutsu master. All. The. Time."

"Maybe he just really likes it in there?" her younger brother wondered, weakly trying to make a joke. She gave him a tired glare. His smile wavered, and dropped.

"Just…Get lots of bed-rest, onee-chan. Eat a lot of food, and your vitamins. We'll figure it out when we get there," he said with a grimace, giving a shrug.

* * *

The day estimated for her labor—February 24th—came and went. It was now March 1st. And still, no sign of her baby wanting to leave her womb.

"We'll need to either induce labor, or put you through a Caesarean section. Your kid's been in your womb for too long," Chiyo-obaa-sama said bluntly, clucking her tongue and shaking her head.

"We **can't** put her through a C-section!" Yashamaru exclaimed, deathly pale. "Both Karura and Gaara-chan will **die** if we do!"

The brunette young woman grimaced. C-sections were the absolute last resort when it came to a pregnancy. They didn't have much of a good reputation, since more often then not, they ended up killing the mother or child. Or both.

Lady Chiyo gave a grunt. "Then we'll have to induce labor soon. Gaara's going to get too big, if we put it off for much longer."

Karura licked her lips, readying her resolve. "The third. We'll do it the third."

Her young brother put a hand on her shoulder, hovering next to her, eyes shining with concern. "Are you sure, Karu-nee?"

"Of course." She wasn't, but no need to worry her otouto further.

* * *

In the morning of March 3rd, Karura was put in a special chamber to give birth. To deter from assassination attempts, keeping it secret.

For this birth, it would also be a precaution, in case something goes wrong with the Ichibi.

The day was deliriously painful for her. No matter how hard she pushed, Gaara-chan just didn't seem to want to enter the outside world.

Six hours of labor later, and there was finally a good sign.

"I can see the head!" Chiyo-obaa-sama crowed.

"Someone, go fetch Kazekage-sama!" Yashamaru ordered, clutching at one of Karura's hands. "You're almost there, onee-chan! Keep pushing!"

"What do you think I've been doing the past **six hours**?" she snarled, before putting all her energy and attention into pushing out eight pounds of miracle from her hoo-ha. "Gaaah!"

Her other hand grasped the sheets in an iron grip. She felt a familiar weight on her shoulder, before it took her hand. She crushed it.

She blearily looked over, panting, seeing Rasa cringe. There was a wet popping sound, of bones shifting in place.

Ah. She broke his hand again. It was like a tradition at this point; she broke his hand in Temari and Kankurou's births, too.

"The head's out! Keep pushing, girl!" Lady Chiyo crowed.

Steeling herself, Karura went back to pushing, letting out cries of pain and frustration.

"We're out to his torso!"

"Keep pushing!"

"Wait—is the kid trying to _go back inside the womb_?!" came an incredulous yelp. Her otouto.

"What the hell?!"

A cry split the air. Her baby. Her baby was crying.

"Don't stop, Karura-chan!" Karura didn't stop. "There we are!"

The young woman blinked blearily. She hurt. But she also felt numb all over. And she was so, so tired…

"Dear, **please** hold on." That was her husband. He sounded…afraid.

She was too tired to turn her head to see. Her vision swam. Rasa was leaning over her. His eyes were of… heartbreak? Why would they…

Karura blanked out. Tried to blink her eyes hard. Still couldn't pay attention.

Not good. This wasn't a good sign, was it…? Probably not.

Voices swam around her. Exclamations. Panic. Buzzing. She couldn't distinguish what anyone was saying, but could pick out the voices she knew best. The closest voice was her husband's…

"M…My baby. Ra-Rasa…L-Let me… see…" she managed to slur out. She couldn't feel anything anymore. Could barely move her mouth.

When did it get so cold?

A small bundle was floating before her eyes. A hand was gently turning her head to the side. Her baby was set down by her face.

Karura blinked. Blinked again, this time willing the fuzzy haze away. Just for a moment. Just so she can see her…baby…

"G-Gaara…" she murmured, voice faint. She looked at the beautiful baby boy, with a shock of bright red hair. She managed a smile. A burning in her eyes, and a wetness down her cheek. "M-My baby…"

She tried to lift a hand. Couldn't. Made a sad noise deep in her throat. Someone picked up her hand, and gently laid it on the bundle. Yashamaru.

"I-I'll…Always pro…protect you…My little...G-Gaara-chan," she slurred, still smiling like a loon. She felt tired. Cold. But also…happy.

She closed her eyes. Heard her name called over, and over again.

Then she knew no more.

* * *

At the moment the woman passed, the newborn gave a cry.

" _No…Not my first pool!"_ the baby thought in despair.

On March 3rd, 1537 hours, Sabaku no Gaara was born. At that same time, Haruka Nanase was reborn, ejected from the comforting wet darkness of his second life's first pool.

 


	2. A Sandfish Is A Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This story isn't going to be very serious, and it's going to undergo sporadic updates. Depends on when I have time and inspiration.

* * *

Chapter 2: A Sandfish Is A Baby

* * *

Yashamaru was still reeling over the death of his sister. Beautiful, kind, fun, caring, strong Karura.

The one who singlehandedly raised him, when both their parents died during the War. The one who encouraged him to pursue his talents as a medic, who comforted him when he had his first kill, who listened to his worries about his duties without judgment.

It was all Rasa's fault. Rasa wanted to seal the Ichibi into one of Karura's children. If he hadn't, then there wouldn't have been such a strain on his sister, when she had Gaara.

It was Rasa's fault that Karura was dead.

But Yashamaru was still a shinobi of Sunagakure. Rasa was still the Kazekage. Yashamaru was still the uncle to Temari, Kankurou, and Gaara.

So, when Rasa assigned Gaara under Yashamaru's care, he accepted. Of **course** he accepted. He had an obligation to his village and his family.

Yashamaru would use anything in his power, to protect the last relic of his dead sister.

* * *

Yashamaru knew, ever since he saw the boy try to go **back** into the womb—something that's **never** happened before in the medical history of Sunagakure— that Gaara was going to be a very… **odd** child to deal with.

The baby boy was always restless. Always kicking his legs. Never liking to be immobile. Never smiled, or laughed.

Until Yashamaru bathed Gaara for the first time, he thought that the boy was cursed to be unhappy for his entire life. (And, well, being a Jinchuriki of the Ichibi was pretty much this.)

But when Yashamaru gently settled Gaara in the small stone basin for his first bath, which held about an inch of water…The baby **smiled**.

The boy then burst into peals of laughter soon after, wriggling around. The newborn kicked his legs furiously, giggling when he made the small amount of water in the basin splash about.

Yashamaru froze. Stared down at his nephew. Then he laughed, and laughed, and laughed until he cried.

Gaara loved water. _Water_. Something rare and precious in a desert. Something that combated sand, the very material the Ichibi was made out of.

Gaara held a love for water, mirroring his mother's Water chakra nature.

With a fond smile, full of love and hurt and yearning, the sandy-haired man gently and lovingly bathed and cleaned his nephew.

* * *

Haruka Nanase couldn't help the elated laugh that pealed past his lips.

He was being given a bath. A **bath**. With actual water!

Haru kicked out his legs, enjoying the sound of splashes, of the water gently enveloping his skin.

It wasn't another pool, but this basin was his first bathtub. Another thing that was familiar to him.

* * *

Gaara adored being bathed. It was honestly the only time the baby was happy, the only time he **laughed**.

Getting the baby **out** of the bath, however, was another issue altogether.

Every single time, Gaara struggled. And **wailed**. Wailed and wailed and wailed, as if being bodily parted from a soul mate.

No matter what Yashamaru tried, he couldn't quiet his nephew.

Each time, Yashamaru would sigh forlornly. He would pace, rock the bundle, try to use soothing words. Nothing really helped.

Once, he enveloped a hand with healing chakra, gently set it on the baby's forehead, and **forced** the fussy child to go to sleep.

It worked.

Every time afterwards, this is the method Yashamaru would do to make Gaara stop crying from being taken out of the bath. And every time the boy woke from these impromptu naps, he would frown and **glare** up at Yashamaru.

"I'm sorry, Gaara-chan. Next time you can have another bath, okay?" This is the apology the man would give to his nephew, to abate the uncanny, quirky baby.

* * *

Yashamaru learned quickly that Gaara loved baths. He was also content any time he was bottle fed formula.

Apparently, any liquid was a thing that Gaara loved.

The man swore that his baby nephew purposefully chose to pee, the exact moment Yashamaru is just about ready to take off his diaper. Watching the urine curve in an arch brings a small, complacent grin on the baby's usually blank face.

After the first few times, Yashamaru's learned to dodge the spray. And wear the plastic apron used by Suna medic-nins, whenever he changed Gaara's diapers. Just in case.

* * *

Gaara was an eerily intelligent baby.

His default expression was a blank face. He liked to stare intently at whatever has caught his attention. Especially someone's eyes. The baby **never** shied away from looking someone in their eyes.

Gaara always seemed to pay attention. Seemed to **understand** whenever someone spoke.

Yashamaru caught the baby doing an aerobic routine, as he lay in his crib. Training up his limbs.

Apparently, Gaara was just generally very bored and apathetic of life.

It was actually a bit creepy, Yashamaru's willing to admit to himself. The baby was already acting like a…an adult.

Like a shinobi.

Gaara was a prodigy. This was a fact that was blatant to see. And Yashamaru worried.

Prodigies were always taken, built up, ridden hard, and broken. Very few prodigies ever ended up being…sane.

Hell, if he were to compare how Gaara was, to what he remembers of Akasuna no Sasori…

Yashamaru shivered.

He honestly hoped Gaara wouldn't turn into that.

* * *

Haru was bored. It was **boring** , being reincarnated and stuck in the body of a baby.

Normal, mundane life had been bland. But this was **worse** than everyday life. At least back then, he could cook and eat his mackerel, lounge in his bath, swim in a pool, and had his friends and fellow swimmers to swim with.

He was sort of stuck in this tiny form, until he grew up **again**. Once he went through the troublesome, tiring process, he could have a bit more freedom. And access to water.

Until then, he tried to keep up with his physical conditioning. And made a game of trying to pee on his caretaker. Just things to pass the time.

* * *

Gaara grew. He eventually got to the age where he could start eating solids, at seven months.

The boy turned out to not be a fan of baby food. It wasn't liquid, so apparently it wasn't good enough.

Once, the baby grabbed the jar of baby food in his two pudgy hands. Yashamaru watched curiously, wondering what Gaara was thinking.

Gaara stared intensely down into the jar.

The baby proceeded to upturn the contents of the jar. Shook the jar up and down, until everything plopped out.

Then Gaara proceeded to roll himself in the mashed yams.

A hand found itself smacking into Yashamaru's face.

What else did he expect…?

The man spirited his nephew off to take a bath. The baby had a smug look on his face, like a cat having gotten the cream.

The following months became a battle of wills, as Gaara tried to get as messy as physically possible when eating, and Yashamaru tried to get the food in Gaara's mouth instead of all over himself.

* * *

Haru remembered how his mother used to tell him about when he was a baby, and always got himself super dirty, just to get a bath.

With nothing else to really do, and being started the painful process of fed mashed, ground-up, barf-looking baby food…Well, Haru knew what to do.

* * *

Yashamaru ended up needing to transfer Gaara into a bigger basin, to bath the baby in.

Little Gaara was starting to get too big for his current basin. And he couldn't kick out as readily—something the boy adored doing, when taking a bath. As if mimicking swimming.

The slightly larger bathing basin ended up exciting Gaara quite a bit.

* * *

Another bathtub! And it's bigger this time.

Success.

Haru was pleased.

* * *

Gaara was a quiet baby.

Yashamaru feared that the tiny redhead was mute. At nine months, the boy had barely made a peep, much less spoken his first word.

The young man tried to coach his nephew. Always talking to the baby, trying to prod the boy into speaking. Reading him books, using animals and onomatopoeia.

When the boy was nearing his first birthday, he finally spoke. "Jii," the boy said, tugging at Yashamaru's sleeve.

The sandy-haired man paused, staring down at his nephew. After realizing that—yes, Gaara just spoke, and, yes, he just said 'uncle'— Yashamaru beamed proudly.

"Bath?"

The man put a hand over his eyes, and laughed helplessly, as Gaara tugged incessantly on his sleeve.

Of **course** one of the boy's first words would be **bath**. He's not even surprised of the outcome.

* * *

Haru's first words in his second life were uncle and bath.

His next ones were water, free, splash, swim, and fish.

He hoped his uncle could take the hint.

* * *

Yashamaru sighed, as he stood in the ornate room next to the Kazekage, Gaara in his sights.

They were throwing a birthday party for Gaara. Because _politics_ , that's why.

There were condolences for Rasa's loss in Karura—even though Yashamaru lost more than **him** —and wishes for the birthday boy—despite the politicians being wary of the boy, whenever Rasa smugly told them that Gaara was to be Sunagakure's new Jinchuriki superweapon.

Yashamaru **despised** the frivolity, the fake smiles and hidden barbs and political power plays.

Gaara squirmed quite viciously in Rasa's arms. Which makes sense; the boy didn't even know his own father. Rasa never held him before today. Asshole.

Eventually the Kazekage passed his son off to Yashamaru. Gaara stopped struggling instantly, face turning blank instead of the displeased frown it had been before.

It was left to Yashamaru to receive Gaara's well wishes with a smile and grace abounds. As he had to do this pandering kiss-assery when he helped Karura take care of Temari and Kankurou, he was already well practiced enough to take everything with patience.

After a few hours, his nephew started to get fussy again. The boy was insistent as he struggled, hands waving and grasping over to the snack table.

It seems like he was hungry. Naturally, as much time has passed, and it was around the time for his meal.

Yashamaru bobbed the boy up and down in his arms, humming as they neared the table spread full of different dishes. He scanned through the foods, trying to find something that was soft enough for the birthday boy to eat.

Naturally, Gaara had other plans.

"Fish."

"Eh?" the man asked, looking down at his baby nephew.

"Fish," Gaara repeated. "Fish. Jii, jii, fish. Fish!" the baby crowed, waving his arms over to the platter of salmon in the middle of the table.

Yashamaru sighed fondly. "I shouldn't even be surprised, should I?"

His nephew gave him a pointed look, not impressed. Yashamaru simply gave a thin chuckle.

"Gaara-chan, you can't eat fish. It's too solid for you."

The boy glared at him. "Fish," he stated seriously—or, as serious as a baby can speak, anyways.

"No, Gaara-chan. How about some of that banana pudding, over there?" Yashamaru offered, pointing over to the desserts portion of the snack table. "See, doesn't it look yummy?"

"No," the baby deadpanned.

The sandy-haired man blinked down at the boy. "Oh, you've learned a new word…! Good job, Gaara-chan. Now, as a reward, how about we get you some of that pudding, and then—"

" **No** ," Gaara stressed. "Fish. Want fish!"

"Gaara-chan…" Yashamaru started in warning.

The baby only proceeded to glare and mulishly chant, "Fish! Fish! Fish! Fish!"

The uncle groaned, when he noticed the looks he was getting from the guests. "Fine, fine. I'll get you some fish. You're not going to like it, though…" the man warned sternly.

Gaara only gave him a look full of glimmering, smug, sea-foam eyes.

With a sigh, the sandy-haired man lugged the baby over to the tasteful-looking platter of fish. With one hand, he grabbed a plate, put a small portion of fish meat on it, and then used a spoon to scoop up a bit of the soft flesh of the salmon. He raised it to the boy's mouth. "Here, then. Fish."

The baby instantly clamped his mouth on the spoon. He chewed furiously, swallowed, and then gave Yashamaru a pleased grin.

The sandy-haired man merely blinked, staring down at the boy. "You…Actually ate it. And liked it."

"Fish yummy," Gaara chirped, sea-foam green eyes bright. He waved his chubby hands at the plate. "Want fish. Yummy!"

Mechanically, Yashamaru lowered the spoon, careful to scoop up a piece of the food without the bone. He raised it back up to his nephew's mouth.

Once again, Gaara instantly clamped his mouth around the spoon, chewing and swallowing. And then pleaded for more.

"You…Are an odd one," Yashamaru mused, as he kept feeding his charge **fish** , of all things.

After eating a ridiculous amount of fish, for a baby, Gaara burped. He had a lazy, pleased look on his face.

"Right. Off to bed, with you," the caretaker clucked.

When he was walking them past the snack table, the baby suddenly flailed again.

The next few seconds seemed to play out on slow motion, with a chord from a suspenseful horror film.

Somehow… Gaara ended up landing in the large punch bowl, and proceeded to swim in it, as if it was his bathing basin.

Yashamaru watched in complete and utter mortification, before he found himself palming his face and groaning. If **any** baby would do something like this, it would definitely be Gaara-chan.

There was a loud clamor, full of whispers from the guests. Rasa angrily stormed up to him, more than likely ready to chew him out for negligence, when Yashamaru raised a wary hand.

"Gaara-chan adores any form of liquid, and taking baths, sir. He probably mistook the punch bowl for a bathtub," the sandy-haired man explained wearily.

Rasa looked as if he sucked on a particularly bitter lemon. The medic-nin readied himself for his leader to start roaring in his face in a rage; thankfully, that never came to be. The Kage merely gave a curt nod full of displeasure, and didn't proceed to metaphorically whip Yashamaru's hide for the event that befell his Jinchuriki son.

* * *

Haru liked that the water in his private kiddy swimming pool tasted like fruit.

Honestly, fish **and** a pool? Yashamaru was the best uncle and caretaker he could ever ask for.

Oh, and he supposes his 'father' Rasa was alright, as well. Despite the fact that he never properly met the man that was his second life's father, before today.

Eh. Not as if he ever met his dad in his first life as Haruka Nanase, either.

* * *

Many of the guests ended up thinking Gaara was 'odd', when Yashamaru had to physically drag the wailing baby from the punch bowl.

The child quieted instantly, when Yashamaru promised a second bath. Then began to chant, "Bath! Bath! Bath! Bath!" as the sandy-haired man spirited him away.

* * *

Rasa promised to never throw the boy another birthday party, until after he was old enough to not jump headfirst into the punchbowl.

Yashamaru agreed with the man heartily.

* * *

Meanwhile, Haru decided that his first birthday party as Gaara was pretty great, and couldn't wait for the next one.


	3. A Sandfish Walks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Haru-as-Gaara was born later than canon Gaara. Gaara was born premature on January 19th, but Haru wanted to stay in his 'first pool'/the womb longer, and was born March 3rd instead. This makes him a Pisces—the zodiac sign that's represented by fish.
> 
> Also, from February to May is Spring in Japan. This means Haru-as-Gaara was born in Spring. Haru translates to Spring. Oh, and he's the third child of the third Kazekage, born on the third day of the third month.
> 
> I put in way too much thought into his birthday.

  


* * *

A Sandfish Walks

* * *

The spectacle with Gaara's birthday was known as simply 'The Birthday Incident' in the Kazekage Tower, from the servants to the very leader himself.

It was a spoken in low whispers amongst the cooks and servants. Speaking of it in the company of anyone of high ranking was just **asking** to be fired. To the Kazekage, it was seen as a stain upon his reputation, and he naturally was not very kind to all those that reminded him of it. Even if they did so inadvertently, and he only knew of the gossip from his loyal men informing him.

The Birthday Incident caused the Kazekage to scale down Kankurou's third birthday party, in May. The shame was simply too much to bear. And Kankurou was a bit of a troublemaker, so it probably would have ended in disaster anyways, if it was a large dignitary get-together.

(It was a good call. Kankurou somehow ended up getting onto the table, and eating some of the cake with his bare hands.

Because he had really, really wanted cake, that's why.)

Yashamaru, thankfully, didn't have to put up with the gossip that was induced by The Birthday Incident. The man lived in his special, secretive area of the Wind Shadow's estate, taking care of his baby nephew. He didn't have to leave the place, without want of anything, since pretty much everything was provided for him.

And he didn't. Leave, the confines of the estate, that is. Not unless he could really help it.

The man was kind and considerate, but he honestly didn't want to put up with the gossip, scrutiny, and bullshit that came from his role in The Birthday Incident. And so, for a good four months, Yashamaru became a total recluse.

The sandy-haired young man only left to report to his boss, and to go deal with emergencies from the hospital, and that was it. Most of his time and effort when to watch over little Gaara. Hopefully, if he was attentive enough, he could maybe dissuade the baby boy from any more strange behavior.

Of course, that was only a pipe dream, at best. Gaara-chan was just too… **Gaara**.

There literally weren't words in the human language that could properly describe the anomaly that was Sabaku no Gaara. Honestly, the man stopped trying. It only caused him further headaches.

Gaara would be the perfect child, if it wasn't for his ridiculous fixation with water. And oddly unnerving, sharp intelligence. The first caused a lot of problems, and the second was just **creepy**.

It also took a lot of energy and saviness to take care of his baby nephew.

Really, there was no one else that was up for this taxing job. If this already wasn't an S-ranked mission in the unofficial-only-Kage-clearance-records, then it would have instantly needed it because of Gaara's oddities alone.

* * *

Haru had trained his little pudgy baby body to swim, but he probably needed to get to walking at some point in the near future.

Walking wasn't as great as swimming, but it got him places. And getting places is definitely something that needed to happen. He was tired of only being able to crawl. Walking was faster, more dignified, and opened up many more prospects for babies.

Ugh, but it'd have to be so much **boring** work…

* * *

Gaara was doing aerobic exercises in his crib. Again.

The baby was doing considerably better in swimming in the small bathing tub, and could crawl at a surprisingly fast clip. Well, whenever the boy wasn't lazy. He enjoyed being picked up and toted around much better than actually crawling to his destination.

(Or, well, enjoyed as much as someone like Gaara can enjoy things that weren't aquatic. The baby still held a steady poker face.)

Apparently, if it didn't have to do with swimming or fish, then it was boring. Crawling bored Gaara. Among many other things.

And, really, Yashamaru should have known that Gaara would eventually try to do something else that **didn't** bore him. Like attempting how to walk.

His nephew practiced the most in his crib. The wild-haired tot would haul himself up using the crib bars, and balance himself. Then move his feet.

Many a times, Gaara fell on his bottom. Instead of crying, the baby would dust himself from the sand that jumped at his defense, grab the crib bars, and try again.

After a few tries, a frown would cross the child's pale, porcelain face. Then Gaara would lie in his crib, and refuse to move, like a sulking teenager.

* * *

Re-learning how to walk was such a **pain**.

Haru had been putting off walking because he **knew** it was going to be a pain. He **knew** it was going to be frustrating and boring and a waste of brain cells.

But it still needed to be done. He's a bit like a fish out of water right now. And in order to freely be able to get into a nearby pool, he's going to need to walk and **not** be like a fish out of water. It was that simple.

It took many attempts, and a great amount of laying down idly while sulking, but eventually…

He did it.

Haru let out a war cry of success, which was met with the sound of polite clapping.

"Good job, Gaara-chan! You did it! You walked!" Yashamaru said brightly, grinning fondly. Honestly, Haru didn't even know when the man came into the room.

Maybe he was just there the entire time. Haru held a theory that Yashamaru was a ninja bodyguard, assigned by his very important father—so, naturally, the man had to be good at sneaking around and keeping an eye on him.

Haru nodded. "Yes," he stated. He carefully made his way towards the sandy-haired man. "Bath?" he asked expectantly, raising his hands up to his caretaker.

Honestly, he should be awarded for finally conquering the art of walking on squishy, stubby little mammal legs. And what better way to be awarded than to swim in his tub?

Maybe having mackerel to eat. They held a distastefully distinct lack of delicious mackerel for him to eat in…wherever this place was.

Yashamaru laughed, shaking his head. The man did that a lot around Haru; he got exasperated, but was always rather patient, and seemed to have a grasp of Haru's vast leaps of logic.

"Alright, alright…Since you can finally walk, I think that deserves another bath time."

"Yes," Haru stated, a bit smug. He let the corners of his mouth move up into a small smile.

* * *

"Gaara-chan's learned to walk now," Yashamaru reported, standing at attention inside Rasa's Study.

It felt a bit redundant to have a Study at times, the politician mused. After all, he was more often than not stuck inside the Kazekage Office, working on paperwork and reading through things that needed his approval. He rarely had time off, so having a room dedicated for doing more work just seemed tiring.

On the few times he went home in a timely manner, he still brought along paperwork or reports to read through. The Kazekage never stops being the Kazekage, after all, even if they're not in the official office, or wearing the robe and hat. That was a burden that all Kage must bear, as being the leaders of their villages.

"Is that so?" Rasa mused, setting down the report he'd been skimming on the drop in silk prices in the markets.

"Yes, sir. Gaara-chan mastered it in just two weeks."

"He could have done so sooner, couldn't he…? You'd said so yourself, in a prior report," he said, slowly rubbing at his chin.

"Gaara-chan puts most of his attention to water, Kazekage-same. He always has," his brother-in-law retorted tightly. Defending the boy, despite his…circumstances and oddities.

"Well, I suppose the boy is still growing at a good rate…Still above many of his peers," Rasa noted, passing a hand through his hair. He let a long breath, a near sigh, suddenly feeling very tired. "You've done well with raising him, Yashamaru."

' _Because I'm unable'_ was left unsaid, hanging in the air like a stifling cloak.

Rasa was the Kazekage, first and foremost. He was a father second. He had to make sacrifices, like the time with his family, in order to protect the village.

Without the village, his family couldn't be protected. Without the village, he is the ruler of nothing.

That is another burden of all Kage. Their village must come first, before anything else. Before even their families, or their own lives.

When he's able, he cares and loves Temari and Kankuro. But more often than not, the maids are the ones raising them. He can barely make it to dinner on a regular basis.

With what he has to work with…What he has to do…Assigning Yashamaru to take care of Gaara was the best option. Yashamaru was a good man, strong and loyal. He would raise Gaara, and raise him well.

(It was also part penance, for what he put Karura through…For sealing the One-Tailed Beast within Gaara…)

* * *

Yashamaru had thought that with being able to walk, Gaara would be toddling all over the place.

Many toddlers did this, after all. They had miles of energy and curiosity, and had to expend it. It was natural.

Of course, Gaara wasn't like most toddlers, and wasn't exactly 'natural' either.

The toddler was still eerily calm. And didn't move much, barring bath time. Being able to walk only granted Yashamaru the chance to not have to heft his nephew all the time, since Gaara could walk to places around their home with his own power.

Despite having more access to movement, Gaara actually put more attention to sitting down and learning to read.

And, well, the sandy-haired man was going to do that **anyway**. So, it was rather convenient.

But sometimes…Yashamaru wondered how Gaara would be, if he was a little less intelligent.

* * *

Things fell into a routine.

Walking didn't change much. Just enough that Haru could do a few things on his own

Yashamaru fed, changed, and bathed Haru. But reading was starting to become another activity, at Haru's insistence.

The books first started out as boring ones for toddler, with simple words that accompanied bright pictures. After saying "No" and smacking the cardboard books away enough times, Yashamaru got the hint.

Uncle was a smart man. Haru wasn't particularly sure why he was stuck on baby-raising duty. The sandy-haired man read medical textbooks and did arithmetic equations for **fun** , for crying out loud.

The medical textbooks Yashamaru read were a bit on the dry side, but at least it was more interesting than the books that essentially were guides to learning everyday words.

* * *

Yashamaru swears on his stellar chakra control that Gaara could read and understand his medical textbooks.

The baby didn't just stare blankly at the pages. Gaara moved his eyes up and down, **actively** and **intently** following along the kanji sequences.

But, as always, Yashamaru hoped that by ignoring it, the problems that cropped up from Gaara would seem less troublesome and creepy than they were.

Three out of ten times, this method actually worked. The other seven times…Not so much.

Really, the boy needed to be checked on. By someone other than Yashamaru himself, that is. Just to see if Gaara was actually stable and…sane.

Despite the oddities, Gaara **seemed** like he was more towards sane than insane, on the spectrum of sanity. It would be nice to have another professional opinion, but there was always the chance of there being leaks, moles, or spies. Or tampering.

Gaara was the Kazekage's son, after all. Even without being a Jinchuriki, the redheaded boy would be too important to allow even the sliver of a chance of danger to befall him. Matters of the mind and body were…delicate.

It was why Yashamaru was Gaara's main—and only—caretaker. He was loyal. There was no chance of tampering or endangerment. He was a medical professional. He checked out in every single checklist there probably ever existed, and was the best choice to care for his nephew.

That didn't mean he was qualified in raising children, however. Sure, he helped Karura with Temari and Kankurou to some degree, and he was often saddled with checking up on children in his earlier days working in the hospital because of his friendly nature…but he's never had to actively raise a child before Gaara came along.

Though…he's getting there. Or, at least, he'd like to think he is.

There weren't any guides on how to raise a child as unique as his youngest nephew, after all.

It was stressful, though. Gaara, despite not being precocious and overtly curious like most children his age, was still a handful.

The boy had upgraded from simply peeing on Yashamaru to creating splatter drawings on any available surface, during changing time. Also, he would often try to break into the bathing room in some form, to flop into the tub. And…really, the list goes on.

* * *

Uncle had decided to potty-train Haru.

Really, it was a godsend. Getting his diapers changed, while amusing when he drew pictures with his pee, was also starting to get rather embarrassing.

Haru was used to being a strong, independent swimmer that didn't need no underwear changing. Just swim suits. And he could change his unmentionables himself, thank you very much.

Honestly, potty training was a long time coming.

After literally walking Haru through it the first time, Yashamaru just…stood there. And watched him.

It was creepy. Sure, this man was his uncle, and the one who's changed his diapers, bathed him, clothed him, and fed him. But if Haru was going to actually go to the bathroom like a proper person, he needed there to **not** be someone in the room, staring intently at him while he took a shit.

There were some lines that just couldn't be crossed.

It was fine to pee with another guy, since men's bathrooms had that system in place anyways, but having your every move watched intently just wasn't…

Yeah. Anyways, Haru pretty much went on strike.

He would pee on Yashamaru, hoping the man would leave. Of course, the man was used to these shenanigans from him, so that didn't deter him.

Sometimes, the two underwent awkward staring contests, neither of them moving from their spots in the room. Haru didn't go to the bathroom. Yashamaru didn't leave. A complete and utter stalemate.

All Haru wanted was to go to the bathroom in peace. He wanted to get this over with.

No matter how intelligent his uncle was, he really didn't **get** some things.

* * *

"Gaara-chan is going through potty training."

Rasa pinched the bridge of his nose. "I would rather you not go into detail over how my child goes through the bathroom, Yashamaru."

"Of course, sir."

Then came the awkward silence.

"…Is that all?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ah."

More silence.

"…You said he is _going through_. As in, present tense."

"That is correct, sir."

"You mean that he hasn't yet mastered it?"

"No, sir." A pause. "He can urinate fine, but doesn't seem to, ah—"

Rasa waved him off quickly. "No going through the gritty details, Yashamaru."

"Forgive me. It's just…He never wants to, er, go number two."

"…"

"He simply stands and stares at me, instead."

Rasa sighed. "Yashamaru, you **do** realize that my profession doesn't have to do with children. I am no expert in bowel movements, either."

His son-in-law gave an embarrassed cough. "Er, yes, sir."

"Figure it out on your own, Yashamaru. Dismissed."

* * *

"Gaara-chan, I haven't changed your diet. So you **shouldn't** be having problems going number two."

The toddler continued to stare at the man.

"Haven't I waked you through going potty enough times, Gaara-chan?"

A small frown came on the child's face. "Yes," Gaara said, nodding slightly.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked, crouching down to the boy's level, hoping for some sort of comprehensive answer.

The toddler's penchant deadpan stare turned irritated. The boy pointed a pudgy finger over at the door. "Go."

Yashamaru couldn't help but blink slowly at his nephew. "…What?"

Gaara made a frustrated keening noise. He jabbed his finger at the man, before moving it, pointing to the door. "Jii. Go."

The man watched in befuddlement, as the toddler's face went pink in…embarrassment?

The dawning realization fell on him, in that moment. Gaara didn't go to the bathroom because he was embarrassed that Yashamaru was in the room, watching him.

Children at this age usually didn't get embarrassed. They had little to no concept of embarrassment or body image.

But Gaara wasn't a normal child, and was quite intelligent. Of **course** he would want to be independent and private. No **wonder** it took so long for him to get potty trained…

"Whoops. Sorry," Yashamaru laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "I'll just leave you to it, okay?"

" **Go** ," the toddler emphasized, waving his little arm up at down, still pointing to the door.

"I'm going, I'm going," the sandy-haired man assured his nephew.

Five minutes later, Yashamaru quietly went back inside the bathroom to see Gaara standing, fully dressed.

"Let's check to see if you did it right, okay?" the man said, pulling the back of the boy's pants and diaper to take a look. Clean. "Good job, Gaara-chan! You did it—you went potty."

The toddler simply glared up at him, cheeks puffed out slightly.

* * *

Haru was adamant on going to the bathroom on his own, through his own power.

In the end, he was finally granted that modicum of independence and privacy.

Success…?

 


End file.
